HUMAN,The Creator Of His Own Problem

Human:The creator of his own problem

Nowadays, every person is sad for various reasons in their life—some due to the presence of someone, others due to the absence of someone. Some find happiness in connecting with others, while some prefer the solitude. We often seek our joy within people, and if someone betrays us, we tend to search for solace in different company. However, the mystery persists: whether our happiness comes from people or they are the main source of our difficulties. Another mystery is whether it is beneficial to be alone or to stay with everyone. Should we forcefully maintain relationships, or is it better to let go when the heart is full?

Every person reaches a crucial point in their life when they start harboring hatred towards every individual. They begin to believe that everyone in this world is their enemy, to the extent of considering even their own close ones as foes. This turning point becomes the most distressing in one’s life because when pain strikes, whether caused by someone’s actions or other reasons, initially, we seek solace by sharing our sorrows with our loved ones. However, when you discover that even your own were equally responsible for your suffering, a person, no matter how strong, inevitably shatters. And when a person breaks due to the actions of their own, at that point, there is no one to offer support; it’s just the people themselves. At that moment, not only does the person perceive the world as enemies, but they also view their close ones as adversaries.

Humans are indeed peculiar beings, sometimes challenging to understand. Often, we find ourselves not wanting others around, regardless of whether they appear as friends, cousins, siblings, or relatives. We tend to feel comfortable sharing our sorrows and joys among such people. Many times, our preference for being alone stems from creating a boundary of respect for ourselves. We fear that if someone is seen alone, they might be looked at with disdain or pity. Assumptions may be made about their behavior, thinking that perhaps their interactions with people are not favorable. We even apply this thinking to ourselves, sitting with others but wondering if they truly like us. Despite these doubts, we continue to stay among people, fearing that others might say, “This person has no friends; no one talks to them.”

Whenever we engage in a good deed, there’s an inherent desire for others to notice it, and some even do good things specifically to showcase them to people. However, if we happen to make a mistake or do something wrong, our instinct is to try to hide it from others, as the people around us have the power to shake someone’s life with their judgments. Some individuals cannot tolerate criticism directed towards them personally, and many dislike being under scrutiny.When a girl is not getting married, her primary concern is often not about the marriage itself but rather about what people might be thinking about her. Similarly, when a boy struggles to find a job, his mother worries not only about his employment status but also about how she will respond when others inquire about her son’s job. For students awaiting their results, the initial concern is not about what to do with the outcome but rather the tension of how to share it with others. Whether the result is good or bad, there is always the worry of how to navigate the perceptions of those around them.

But in all these situations, one thing remains common: there’s always that one person about whom everyone is gossiping. If someone receives their exam results, the entire world seems concerned about that person, be it relatives or family, except the individual whose results are being discussed. Similarly, if a girl is not getting married, everyone is worried about her except herself, and she observes the judgments being passed on her own life.

Now comes the matter of the most distressing thing: everyone has become accustomed to people talking and gossiping. Many individuals manage to ignore the opinions of others and lead their lives happily. However, there is one thing that even these individuals find unsettling, and that is when the gossiping is done by people who are not just outsiders but also the person’s own family, their own parents and siblings. At that moment, a person feels utterly vulnerable.

Because when a person is going through a difficult time, knowing that their family is with them gives them the strength to face any challenge. However, when your own family becomes the source of your distress, an individual shatters in a way that is irreparable. At that moment, there is a feeling that the very people with whom one has spent their entire life, their own family, start to seem like enemies. And why wouldn’t they, when the ones closest to you are saying things that cause the most pain? In such a situation, it feels like if your own family speaks about you in a way that hurts the most, then who else could be considered an enemy?

The reality is that we, as humans, not only create problems for each other but also contribute to creating problems for ourselves. If each person, instead of undergoing physical changes, simply changes their mindset, a significant portion of life’s problems would automatically be resolved. If someone finds contentment in being alone and we give them the space they need, what harm is there in that?If someone has faced failure in something, rather than criticizing or broadcasting it to the world, offering them space and support is far more constructive. Instead of discussing why a girl is not getting married, seeking suitable matches for her can be a positive approach. If a child has poor exam results, searching for solutions and providing support rather than humiliating them or their family is a much better way to handle the situation. There is no harm in promoting understanding, support, and solutions over criticism and gossip.

We just need to improve our mindset; the rest of the issues will resolve themselves.

 

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